A question men are dying to know the answer to
There’s something that all guys would love to know the answer to, so I’m going to post it here to see what the feedback is. It has to do with low-cut blouses and dresses. They’re especially popular this time of year with the heat of summer, but there’s a strange phenomenon that occurs when women put them on.
Maybe it has to do with the conservative area that we live in, maybe it doesn’t, but the women around here that wear these types of outfits are extremely self conscious of their chest for some reason. For instance, there’s a woman in my office that wears these types of tops almost every day. However, the entire time, she’s constantly putting her hand over her cleavage, pulling the shirt to try to cover it up, or has a sweater over her shoulders so she can pull it over her exposed skin.
Can someone please explain this to us men? This isn’t an isolated incident – it’s like that for a lot of the women I see wearing them. Is it because they’re insecure? Is it because they don’t want men oogling their chest?
I thought perhaps it was me. Maybe my gaze is lingering a little too long. Nope. I started paying attention and they do it no matter who comes around. What is up with that?
I would think that as a woman, if you’re going to sport a top that’s cut to show off your assets, then you know good and well that people are going to notice. If you don’t want to be noticed, then why spotlight your cleavage (or lack thereof if you’re minus-sized).
It draws way more attention to yourself by trying to tug and pull to cover your wide-open chest that you’re baring to the world than if you just went about your business. There was a lady we used to go to church with that wore low-cut tops every week. She spent the entire time walking around with her hand over her chest. Very strange.
Let’s talk specifically about dresses for a moment. Now definitely if you wear a hot little number like Scarlett Johannson is up there, you’re going to get looks at your chest. Please don’t wear something like this out in public, then be offended that people are staring at your boobs. That’s like wearing a string bikini to a pool and being upset that guys are checking you out.
And it’s not only guys that will look. My wife wore a dazzling little low cut black dress to a fancy wedding reception last weekend that showed off her girls in glorious fashion. The biggest oogler of the bunch was my old 8th grade history teacher – who is a straight woman.
If a woman wears a dress or top like this one…
Isn’t she saying something to the effect of, “I’m confident in my body, the way I look, and I feel a little sexy”? Or is it more along the lines of, “This is what’s in fashion right now so I’m going to wear it, feel horrible about myself all day, and be disgusted at all the looks I get from people”?
Humans’ eyes are just attracted to skin and to cleavage. We just are – it’s our nature.
So, the bottom line is – Why do women purposefully dress in outfits that show off, but feel so uncomfortable in public when doing so? Inquiring male minds would love to know.
I love this post, I will write about it on my blog and stick the question on Facebook page and we will soon find out.
I’ve decided that the additional movement of hands over the cleavage and boobs is to make sure your looking.
I feel comfortable and pretty in low-cut tops until I notice I’m being ogled, or someone makes a crass comment. Just because I’m putting it out there doesn’t make it fair game. (Hell, it doesn’t seem to matter what kind of shirt I wear…I get ogled regardless. F’n really? Imagine someone you found unattractive staring at your junk with hungry eyes every time you entered a room. Not so comfortable now, huh?)
It’d be kind of nice to feel pretty without feeling like meat, y’know?
“Just because I’m putting it out there doesn’t make it fair game.”
That’s exactly the point: yes it does.
You don’t get to choose what fish bites your hook. However, the kind of fish you are likely to get depends on what bait you use. If you dress conservatively and engage men in intelligent conversation, you will atttract thoughtful men. If you dress conservatively and volunteer at the animal shelter, you will attract sensitive, caring men. If you dress in a manner that emphasises your breasts, you will attract the kind of men that want to stare at breasts.
It’s exactly what I have always said. They are not “feeling uncomfortable in public”, they dress that way to get the attention of SPECIFIC men. If you don’t look like Brad Pitt, you will get a withering look of disgust to try to crush your self esteem so you will go away.
It’s not “I don’t want men to look at me when I wear a dayglo pink tube top”, it’s “I don’t want YOU to look at me.”
“Most women would rather be beaten to death by a pretty boy than kissed by an ugly one.”
And they frequently are.
Preach on, brother.
I really love this post, specially this line:
“Isn’t she saying something to the effect of, “I’m confident in my body, the way I look, and I feel a little sexy”? Or is it more along the lines of, “This is what’s in fashion right now so I’m going to wear it, feel horrible about myself all day, and be disgusted at all the looks I get from people”?”
I don’t know exactly how to answer your post question in English, since my first language is Spanish, but I’ll tell you that, in my case, I like to wear that kind of blouses and dresses, yes, they make me feel like I’m sexy… but sometimes some men (not every men), when I wear that kind of clothes, keep a long time staring at me in that ugly way… very unconfortable sensation.
Huh! And it happens to me too when I’m not wearing the appropiated bra, hahahaha! And when the blouse/drees is not exactly my size… that really can make me feel insecure! Because it shows more than what I wanted to show. I think that I’m not the only one, I’ve seen it before, many of my friends have asked me for a safety pin to make sure the top stays in it’s place. Well, that’s what I can tell you.
Nice blog!